How It Works: The Cat

The Ancient Egyptians famously worshipped cats as though they were gods; and cats will never let us forget that fact.

You can cuddle them, stroke them, buy them a sparkly collar with a bell and call them your own, but in the end, you know that a cat is just hanging around for the food.

Cats don’t come when you call, only when they choose. They don’t look particularly happy to see you when you return home; in fact, sometimes you are almost certain they look as though they would prefer that you hadn’t come home at all.

Sometimes you find yourself wondering if your cat is planning to murder you.

If any or all of the above sounds familiar, then this little guidebook will prove invaluable.

"It’s enough to make Peter and Jane choke on their watercress sandwiches." – The Independent

Do you ever find yourself longing for a simpler time? That time before the horrors of speed-bumps, automated supermarket checkouts and infernal switchboard options; the days when telephones had wires and a reassuring rotating dial, a tweet meant birdsong and Brexit might possibly have meant a new kind of breakfast cereal?

Fear not, for you are not alone. What you need are the new manuals for our times, simple primers for the everyday predicaments we find ourselves in.

Dear friend, what you need is a Ladybird.

Part of the Ladybird Books for Grown Ups series.