Picky: Stories of Dating in a Relationship Recession

'This book isn’t everything I know about love; it’s everything I know about what happens when the promise of it becomes a burden.’

Longing for the real deal in the midst of what researchers are calling a 'relationship recession' is not for the faint of heart. As a single woman approaching thirty, Chanté is very familiar with modern dating culture, steeped as it is in messy situationships, choice paralysis and the gamification of dating apps. But instead of settling or falling for pernicious narratives about somehow being unworthy of love, Chanté advocates being picky. Once considered an insult, she believes being picky is actually a form of power, a declaration that you won’t compromise on the life you want.

Picky isn’t another book advising people on how to date or what to look for in a partner. It explores the way women are blamed for their singleness – and often for men’s – while navigating a dating culture that is emotionally precarious and structurally unequal. It interrogates the narratives we absorb about romance, desirability and worth, and asks what it might mean to step away altogether from shame-based ideas of love.

In her inimitable, whipsmart style, Chanté tosses aside the narratives that no longer serve us, interrogates the harmful myths than perpetuate negative dating experiences and serves us with an exciting alternative: don’t drop your standards, choose carefully and stay picky.

'This is not dating advice, it is a dating reality check.’